Recouping

[Palladium]

OOC: This follows the Valentine's Day Dance thread and for the sake of having a place to put this thread, I'm going to pretend that Palladium's office is really his dorm/suite at Alfea (I'm assuming that he does live on campus).

Pushing open the door to his personal "apartment" at Alfea, Palladium announced as he turned to look at Cora, "Well, this is it. This is my home. I mean, my home away from Athryell, which is my true home - it always will be. But you already knew that, of course. You know, since you've known me for the better part of my life." At his ramblings, Palladium reddened slightly, wondering why he had suddenly seemed to regress back to his old, nervous self.

Deciding it best to ignore this question of his, Palladium smiled apologetically as he glanced around the sparsely decorated living room. "I'm afraid I never did get around to doing much decorating, but what can I say? I've been rather busy this year with . . . well, you know. It's just been unusually hectic. That being said, it's still quite comfortable here and I'm sure that it'll be quiet enough for you to relax." Clearing his throat, Palladium continued, "Yes, well, let's see - the bedroom is that way and there's a small kitchen to the right and a bathroom to the left -"

[Cora]

Cora stared at Palladium with a slightly raised brow, temporarily forgetting her weariness. He was acting so very curiously that she couldn't help but be intrigued by it - it was as though he was nervous about something. No, she amended - not really nervous. More like . . . eager - eager for her to give him her approval. Not bothering to suppress her grin, Cora felt her heart warm. For the first time since she she had arrived in Magix she felt like she was seeing the real Lenwë, the one she had known for over half her life - the one she couldn't help loving.

Brushing aside her thoughts to focus on what Palladium was saying, Cora interjected with a light laugh, "You know, Lenwë, you don't have to give me a grand tour - I am perfectly capable of discovering the kitchen on my own. I am quite the big girl now."

Even as she teased Cora knew that although Lenwë had seemed to revert to his old, at ease self, he was still not entirely with her. She couldn't blame him, though - not after the events of that evening. Perhaps it was wrong of her to play around at a time like this, but Cora knew instinctively that her friend needed it. Desperately. He had become so serious as of late that it worried her; from her point of view he was losing himself in the stress of his job, in the fact that his once impeccable reputation was now slightly tarnished, and ultimately, in his feelings for that fairy. But he couldn't be happy. At least not really. Because when it came down to it, he lacked that glow that he had once possessed.

[Palladium]

Palladium forced a laugh as he replied, trying his best to not appear distracted, "I know that you are - but can you blame me for wanting to make you feel at home here? You're my dearest friend and I want you to feel that everything that is mine is yours for the taking. Now, despite your teasing, I know you're tired, so let's get you to bed, shall we?"

Taking her hand, Palladium gently tugged her down the hall toward his bedroom, a room that was just as sparse as the living room had been. "I hope this will do; I know it's not the most cozy of places, but I like it nonetheless."

[Cora]

Cora bit her lip as a small frown crossed over her face. She could sense the change in him - she could sense that he was hurting. She may not have been able to save him from Flora's magic earlier that evening, but here . . . here she could work her magic.

Quietly, Cora turned and closed the bedroom door before taking Palladium's hand and guiding him over to the bed. Gently, she reached up and pressed down slightly on his shoulders, urging him to sit. As he settled on the edge of the bed, Cora knelt down on her knees by his feet and softly covered his hands with hers. "Talk to me," she said simply.

[Palladium]

Palladium stared down at their clasped hands for several long moments before he finally answered with a touch of wistfulness, "You know me too well, Cora." Exhaling audibly, he shook his head as he continued, "This year . . . has taken too much out of me. I've been overwhelmed with bizarre - no, more than bizarre - things. Everything feels unaligned, wrong. From getting caught in a compromising position with Flora, to being trapped in a mirror, to having to restore Flora's vision . . . and now this? Taking on Darkar and that thing that has taken over Flora? I don't know if I can do it. I don't know if I want to do it." Pausing for a moment to let his words sink in, he then began again, "Sometimes I imagine just packing up and going back to Athryell - back to home, back to my books, back to simplicity - back to you. Of course, duty here prevents me from doing just that, but I'd be lying if I didn't say that I wasn't tempted."

At these words, Palladium disentangled his hands from Cora's only to gently run his fingers lingeringly down the side of her face. Giving her a faint smile, he finished quietly, "I miss the way things were."

[Cora]

"I miss them too," Cora replied, her eyes shining with suppressed tears - tears caused by a sudden wave of nostalgia sweeping over her body. Achingly, she continued, "We don't have to go back though because we still have each other, hmm? There's still plenty of time for new memories. And, all of this," Cora waved her hand to signify the events that had been plaguing Palladium's thoughts, "it can be secondary - if that's what you want. Athryell is always waiting for you; you know that." Sighing, Cora placed her hand over the one he had laid on her cheek. Turning her head, she gently kissed his palm as she looked up to meet his gaze again. "But leaving isn't even an option for you, is it, Lenwë? You don't even have to say anything; I can sense it in you. You're too duty-bound. You just can't bear to leave a task unfinished." Pausing she bit her lip before she continued, almost sadly,"It's an admirable trait."

[Palladium]

Hearing the sadness in her voice and watching the tears start to trickle down her face, Palladium felt his heart wrench. He hadn't meant to bring her to tears - he hadn't thought he could bring her to tears. All his life, she had always been the tough one, the one who walked with a swagger while he had been the meek, emotional one. And here they were now, the positions reversed. It was a strange feeling - almost foreign in nature.

Without further hesitation, Palladium pulled her into his arms for a hug, doing his best to comfort her. Feeling her bury her face against his neck, Palladium closed his eyes and ran his hands up and down her back as he whispered over and over, "Shhh, it's okay."

[Cora]

Cora gave a muffled laugh against his neck as she apologized, her tears still flowing, "I'm sorry; I-I don't know why I'm cr-crying so much. I guess it's just been a r-really long and emotional day."

As Palladium continued to stroke her back, Cora closed her eyes, allowing herself to be soothed. After some moments more, her tears finally began to subside and almost guiltily, Cora started to pull out of his arms, only to feel them tighten around her. Tilting her head back, confused by his actions, Cora met his unwavering gaze. Feeling herself drawn into their steadfast depths, Cora felt her heart quicken, as she suddenly became hypersensitive of her surroundings.

[Palladium]

Sensing the shift in mood in the room, Palladium remained motionless as he swallowed down the knot that was building up in his throat. Somewhere in him it registered that he was having what was best called "a moment" with Cora, and perhaps it was for this reason that he could not bear to avert his eyes from hers. As it was, at times in the past it had felt as though he had waited his whole life for this moment . . . and now that it was here he was terrified to move - terrified to break the spell.

And yet this was his chance - possibly his only chance. His chance to finally get the girl - the girl who had been the object of his affection for the past thirteen years. This wasn't the time to be afraid. In fact, the time for fear had passed long ago. And so, slowly, almost tentatively, Palladium bent his head forward, not at all sure what to expect.

[Cora]

As she felt Palladium slowly drawing her closer to him, Cora's heart began to pound uncontrollably. This was it. This was their moment. This was her chance to show him that all the chemistry they had shared over the years wasn't limited to just friendship. And furthermore, this was her opportunity to prove to Lenwë that whatever he felt for Flora was secondary to what he felt for her.

Lowering her eyes, Cora gently slid her hands up along his arms until they came to rest on his shoulders. Lifting her gaze to his again, Cora nodded slightly, signaling to him that she was ready.

[Palladium]

As a picture of Flora standing by the lake flashed through his mind, Palladium hesitated for a moment. Vaguely, he felt Cora lay her soft hand against his cheek, her voice asking him if he was all right. Meeting her gaze, Palladium gave her a smile as he nodded, pushing his thoughts of Flora to the outer reaches of his mind.

As his thoughts returned to Cora, to her large eyes, smooth, pale skin, and the serene sound of her voice, Palladium finally gave in and pulled her completely into his arms, kissing her at first softly, and then with more enthusiasm. As he felt her respond, Palladium pushed her lightly back against the bed, grazing his lips along her shoulders. Feeling his mind grow fuzzy, he absently whispered against her neck, "Flora."

[Cora]

"What did you say?" Cora whispered, her body stiffening as naked pain slashed across her face. Lying back against the bed, her eyes carefully trained on the white ceiling above her, Cora felt Palladium pause, his mouth still against her shoulder. Slowly, she felt him lift his head, and she could feel his eyes on her, probing her in confusion. And yet, still no response. Just silence.

Abruptly sitting up, Cora adjusted the straps of her dress as she shook her head in part hurt and part disbelief. After a moment, Cora turned her head and stared down at Palladium as she said flatly, "You called me Flora."

[Palladium]

Staring up into Cora's eyes, Palladium felt his heart sink as he saw the hurt displayed behind their brown depths. Shaking his head fervently, Palladium tried to take Cora's hands into his, only to have her jerk them away. Not knowing what to do, Palladium whispered over and over, "I'm so sorry, Cora. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean it. I wasn't thinking of her right then. I swear I wasn't. It just slipped out. After all that has happened tonight, I admit, Flora has been in my thoughts . . . but not when you were in my arms. Not then. Please . . . I don't know what else I can say."

[Cora]

Quietly, Cora stared down at her hands as she replied, "You should go. I know that you need to focus on planning how to rescue Flora from Darkar." Standing up, Cora moved over to the window and wordlessly opened it. Closing her eyes, she breathed in the crisp scent of winter air, and for a moment she felt as though she was back in Athryell . . . where she belonged.

Without turning back to Palladium, she urged again, "Go, Lenwë. You shouldn't be wasting your time here with me - not when Flora's and that prince's safety is on the line."

[Palladium]

Looking over at Cora, Palladium felt as though he could very well throttle himself for hurting her. He hadn't meant to do so. He honestly hadn't. He hadn't been thinking of Flora at that moment - he hadn't been imagining kissing Flora. He had been there with Cora. It was Cora who he wanted in that moment - not Flora. Saying Flora's name had just been an accident - an error of the tongue due to the fact that all evening his mind had been concentrated on trying to wrench her from Darkar's grasp.

But watching Cora wrap her arms around herself as she tried to keep warm, one of the most lonely sights he had ever witnessed, Palladium knew that accident or not, the damage had been done.

Sighing, Palladium turned to leave the room. Pausing at the door, he quietly replied, "I do love you, Cora. I hope you know that. And I hope you know that that means I would never use you as a substitute for someone else."