Darkened thoughts

[Demeter]

OOC: mood music for a bit:

Hello darkness, my old friend, I’ve come to talk with you again, Because a vision softly creeping, Left it’s seeds while I was sleeping, And the vision that was planted in my brain still remains within the sound of silence.

In restless dreams I walked alone narrow streets of cobblestone, ’neath the halo of a street lamp, I turned my collar to the cold and damp when my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light that split the night and touched the sound of silence.

And in the naked light I saw ten thousand people, maybe more. People talking without speaking, people hearing without listening, people writing songs that voices never share and no one dared disturb the sound of silence.

Fools said I, you do not know silence like a cancer grows. Hear my words that I might teach you, take my arms that I might reach you. But my words like silent raindrops fell, and echoed in the wells of silence

And the people bowed and prayed to the neon God they made. And the sign flashed out it’s warning, in the words that it was forming. And the signs said, the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls. And whisper’d in the sounds of silence.

OOC2: conversation after Palladium/Cora's discussio, days later

---

Flora sat by the edge of the lake, on a side that wasn't near where Bloom and Mar were dwelling. She wanted to be alone for the most part, trying to get her thoughts together after the experience of serving Darkar against her will. She still could feel his touch when she fell asleep. Nothing Chatta or Piff could do could chase that darkness away.

She rubbed her arms as a chill settled on her. She closed her eyes tightly and silently wept. Her mind slowly came to focus on what had happened - what had caused the darkness to settle. How could she have known that when she had asked Professor Avalon for that simple sight spell so she could attend his classes in Magiphilosphy that the darkness would creep in and start to turn her into that thing that harmed her friends and teacher.

She pulled her dark cloak closer to her, trying to find warmth from the familiar fabric. She remembered when her mother gave it to her as her seventeenth birthday present. It had been such a blessing - and such a grown up gift. Her mother, and her mother, had spent days weaving the fabric, dying it, and all the other little homemade touches in it. She could see her grandmother's fine embroidery of flowers if she looked close enough.

She sighed softly and tossed a stone into the water, and shook her head. Yep, she was getting good and depressed as she thought about all the damage she caused while serving Darkar. How could she ever make amends for what she had done?

She froze instinctively when she felt a male's presence behind her. "Who is it?" she asked, her voice quivering terribly. Oh, Goddess, please don't let it be Darkar... Or Professor Avalon... Or worse, Professor Palladium. She knew what she had done, Layla had told her. How could he ever forgive her for hurting him? She couldn't even begin to forgive herself.

[Palladium]

Walking by the lake with his hands shoved lightly in his pockets, Palladium cast his gaze upward toward the grey, cloudy sky. With a smile, Palladium knew that it would rain shortly - heavy rain, most likely, but no storms. It was, in his opinion, the perfect weather. Unfortunately, at Alfea, this kind of weather didn't seem to occur that often; usually it was all blue skies and sunshine. And while he did appreciate a sunny day, somehow, weather like this appealed to him more. It made him feel more introspective - more in tune with his inner self.

As he switched his attention from the sky to the things up ahead in the distance, Palladium stopped in his tracks. By the edge of the water there stood a familiar figure - one that was clearly upset. Hesitating, Palladium wondered whether he should approach her or whether he should turn away and leave her to her thoughts. It was unlikely that Flora had seen him, so that still left him an escape . . . and yet . . . and yet, it was clear that her shoulders were shaking and her shoulders were hunched. She was crying. He couldn't very well leave her like that could he?

Feeling something like an intruder, Palladium quietly approached her and lightly cleared his throat to make his presence known. Clasping his hands behind his back, Palladium shifted awkwardly on his feet. Knowing that he should say something, he asked in what he hoped was a friendly tone, "Beautiful day, isn't it?"

[Demeter]

Flora froze at the sound of his voice then visibly relaxed, letting her shoulders droop a bit. "I guess," she said quietly, glancing up at the sky. It completely fit her mood. She glanced up and over her shoulder. "I'm surprised you're not with Cora," she said quietly. "I thought you two were close..." She only brought Cora up because she had seen him with her and they had looked so very intimate that night.

She looked away again, focused on some point in the distance. She wiped her eyes and tried to stop crying. Honestly, she was how old? Perhaps it was time to put her heart back on the shelf and keep her emotions at bay, at least until she returned home and ...gave in to Bryar's demands. If only to keep him from hurting her family if she continued to refuse... Unless...

No... She wouldn't do that to him...

[Palladium]

At Flora's mention of Cora, Palladium smiled in the way that one smiles when one remembers one's childhood or a special summer. In essence, it was a smile of fondness and nostalgia, but it was also one of acceptance that whatever caused that smile was just a memory that held no bearing on the present.

Turning his thoughts back to Flora, Palladium nodded in response, "Yes, Cora and I are close; we are old, good friends, as you know. However, she has decided to leave Magix. She told me that this wasn't the place for her - that she belonged elsewhere - most likely back in Athryell, however, knowing her, she intends to travel first. She likes to see the world; it makes her happy because it gives her her independence. But I think she's also decided that it's growing closer to the time when she should settle down and focus on starting a family." Clearing his throat, Palladium finished, "In fact, I believe she is going back to Athryell to look for a future husband."

[Demeter]

Flora turned her head to look at him, more then a little confused. She was sure the look on her face would be more then suitable for asking her question without actually saying.

Next he'd be saying that Sky and Christine were indeed married and that they were indeed expecting twins.

[Palladium]

Palladium smiled at Flora's obvious confusion as he said, "You see, in Athryell, unwed females over the age of twenty-five tend to be viewed as spinsters - meaning that though they can still be married, it is much less likely. And even if they do marry, it is most often to a widower who already has children of his own. Sad as it may be, by Athryellian standards, any children of a widower and his second wife will always be considered to be less worthy than the children of the widower and his first wife. So as you can see, Athryellian females try to avoid spinsterhood at all costs. And though Cora is certainly different from most Athryellians, she does want a family of her own, so she has asked her father to assist her in finding a suitable future husband." Looking at Flora to see if she was still confused, Palladium quickly clarified, "In Athryell, many marriages are still arranged, so Cora asking her father for help isn't considered strange at all."

[Demeter]

Flora still looked very confused and decided to voice one thought. "And, I hope that the next thing you tell me isn't that Sky and Lady Strongheart are indeed married and having twins. I don't think my mind could take that."

[Palladium]

Palladium frowned momentarily in confusion at Flora's reference to Prince Sky and Lady Strongheart. Deciding that he had nothing to remark on about those students considering that they weren't even his students, Palladium coughed as he stalled for something else to say. Inwardly, he wondered if he should ask if she was all right, but somehow, he didn't know if that would be appropriate. For one, it could potentially embarrass her, something he did not wish to do, and secondly, he did not wish to behave in a way that might come across as intimate to her. True, Cora had said throw the rules to the wind, but he still wasn't sure if he could do that. Things were still complicated - and it was very probable that they would remain that way indefinitely. What was he to do?

Seeing that Flora was clearly waiting for him to respond, Palladium sighed. Knowing that he was completely changing the subject, but feeling as though that was all he could do, he asked in a pleasant tone, "How have your studies been? I do hope that you aren't having too much trouble catching up."

[Demeter]

She rubbed the back of her neck. "I'm doing okay... Layla's been tutoring me.. but.." she allowed her voice to trail off. "I can't bring myself to go back to Professor Avalon's class on magiphilosphy," she said quietly. "That's where the darkness started... I had asked him for a vision spell..."

[Palladium]

At the sound of fear in Flora's voice when she spoke of Avalon's class, Palladium frowned. Avalon was a wonderful teacher and from what he overheard from the other students, his class on Magiphilosophy was incredible . . . which was why he simply couldn't understand why Flora seemed to be afraid of it.

"Vision spell?" Palladium finally echoed with concern. "I am afraid that I am not following you, Flora. What does a spell that Professor Avalon taught you have to do with the darkness?"

[Demeter]

She looked away. "I... I didn't listen.. The Voice of Nature..." she started. "It was warning me and I didn't listen... It said there was a darkness in his room and I thought it meant my vision..."

[Palladium]

Carefully choosing his words, Palladium asked in his attempt at a neutral tone of voice, "Please tell me if am I wrong, Flora, but do you mean to say that you think Avalon is . . . evil?"

[Demeter]

"That's the feeling I got from the Voice of Nature," she said quietly. "And I never heard of the Voice of Nature ever being wrong..."

[Palladium]

Struggling with his conflicting thoughts, Palladium stood silently. Though he knew that Flora would never tell a lie of that great magnitude, he simply couldn't believe that Professor Avalon, who he viewed as a particularly good friend, could be anything less than good. And even more, if Avalon was evil, Palladium thought to himself, wouldn't he have been able to sense it? He was, after all, an elf of at least some talent.

Utterly torn, Palladium pressed the pads of his fingers against his temples. Shaking his head, feeling helpless all the while, he finally responded, "I am afraid that I do not know what to say, Flora."

[Demeter]

"I just told you what I know. What you choose to do with it is up to you," she said quietly. She rubbed her hands together as she struggled to get her thoughts together again. And she didn't dare bring up the subject of there being a them - at least, not unless he brought it up first.