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Post by Demeter on Nov 17, 2005 20:11:24 GMT -5
Flora hesitated outside the professor's door and took a deep breath. She knocked once on his door and waited for him to acknowledge her knock. She had to apologize to him for last night and promise that she wouldn't do anything like that again, for fear of jeopardizing his career.
Hopefully, he'd forgive her, right?
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Post by Palladium on Nov 17, 2005 20:38:11 GMT -5
Palladium had retreated to his classroom after freeing himself from Griselda at the dance. He must have slept there all night because when he awoke it was morning. Sitting at his desk, his elbows propped up and his face resting in his hands, his mind immediately flashed back to the events of the previous evening. Even though he had told himself he wouldn't think about it anymore, he couldn't help it; it was automatic.
Sighing in defeat, Palladium decided that the only way he'd ever stop thinking about all this was if he sorted through it. Every single bit.
Flora. Flora was his student. She was attentive, intelligent, a bit reserved, but wholly open to learning new things. She was beautiful and sensitive and everything else he desired. And if he could bring himself to admit it, the simple truth was that he had almost kissed her last night when she had fallen into his arms. Right there in front of everyone, he had almost kissed her.
But, damn it, he was her teacher. And a good ten years older than her. It wasn't appropriate. Whatever he might feel for her, it wasn't appropriate and it wasn't fair to her. And it also wasn't fair to him.
Leaning back in his seat, Palladium reflected upon what would happen to him - and his career - if word got out that he was harboring these feelings. He had no doubt about what would happen: his reputation would be destroyed, he would lose his position at Alfea - and all his hard work to get to this place would have been for nothing.
Rubbing his temples to soothe his overwhelmed mind, Palladium resolutely decided that he couldn't allow himself to be destroyed.
At that moment he heard a knock at his door. Going over, opening it, and then seeing Flora, Palladium almost began to laugh at the way things happened at the most inopportune times. However, he managed to stifle this urge and instead shocked himself when he unintentionally greeted her with a cold, "Flora, I trust you're doing well."
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Post by Demeter on Nov 17, 2005 20:41:58 GMT -5
'Two could play at the icy routine,' Flora thought to herself, having been taken aback by the chill in his voice. "I just came to apologize for making us both out to be utter fools," she said in a voice void of emotion.
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Post by Palladium on Nov 17, 2005 20:54:12 GMT -5
Palladium winced. He hadn't meant to come across sounding quite so aloof - but maybe it was better that way. Flora had pride - she'd stay away if she thought that he felt nothing for her. Debating whether to follow through with this plan, Palladium decided that he had to - but some part of him still felt that they should discuss what had happened at the dance. Torn between those two things, Palladium decided the best plan was to maintain his distance, but invite her into the room to talk.
Stepping back from the door, Palladium gestured for her to come in. "Perhaps it would be better if we didn't talk where people could hear." Thinking that that sounded too much like a friendly invitation, he added icily, "We certainly don't need false stories about my conduct spreading around this school."
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Post by doyne on Nov 17, 2005 20:54:33 GMT -5
Outside, a little snoop Doyne pressed her ear to the door. "Ya darn right you embarrassed the both of you."she hissed.
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Post by Demeter on Nov 17, 2005 21:05:06 GMT -5
Palladium winced. He hadn't meant to come across sounding quite so aloof - but maybe it was better that way. Flora had pride - she'd stay away if she thought that he felt nothing for her. Debating whether to follow through with this plan, Palladium decided that he had to - but some part of him still felt that they should discuss what had happened at the dance. Torn between those two things, Palladium decided the best plan was to maintain his distance, but invite her into the room to talk. Stepping back from the door, Palladium gestured for her to come in. "Perhaps it would be better if we didn't talk where people could hear." Thinking that that sounded too much like a friendly invitation, he added icily, "We certainly don't need false stories about my conduct spreading around this school." Flora nodded and entered the room. "I apologize for bumping into you and I apologize for not moving so when the student behind me bumped me I fell into your arms. If you approve of it, I'll ask to transfer into a different class at a different school so you no longer have to see me and remember what a fool I made the two of us!" her voice started out calmly but rose towards the end and broke on a sob. And she had so promised herself she would not cry in front of him. Maybe it would be a good idea that she asked for a transfer to another school entirely.... |
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Post by Palladium on Nov 17, 2005 21:37:10 GMT -5
She's crying. Why is she crying? Why? Because I made her cry. This wasn't supposed to happen; she wasn't supposed to act this way. I was supposed to act cold and she was supposed to act cold. That was the plan . . . no . . . that was my plan. My stupid, stupid plan. I can't let her cry like this. I have to do something. I did this so I have to fix this. I have to find some way to fix this . . .
Clenching his jaw to keep himself from saying something he'd regret, Palladium began emotionlessly, "Flora, stop crying. Please." Seeing how his words had no effect on stopping her tears, Palladium felt himself growing restless and felt his defense begin to crack.
Tentatively, Palladium reached out and placed a hand on Flora's shaking shoulder, "Please, Flora , don't cry. You have nothing to cry about, all right? You did nothing wrong." Worriedly, Palladium continued on more urgently, "Flora, listen to me - are you listening? You did nothing wrong - if anything, it should be me apologizing to you. Flora, do you hear me?"
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Post by Demeter on Nov 17, 2005 21:41:25 GMT -5
Flora reached up with one hand and shakily wiped her eyes with it. "I promised myself I wouldn't cry. Guess I'm not good at keeping promises to myself," she said in a voice that was hardly above a whisper.
"And why should you apologize to me? You did nothing," she continued in her soft whisper, one that sounded almost dead and void of emotion.
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Post by Palladium on Nov 17, 2005 21:50:18 GMT -5
Relief flooded Palladium as he saw Flora regain her composure. However, he couldn't help but be disturbed by her assertion that he hadn't done anything. She was right, to an extent. He could honestly say that he hadn't done anything . . . physically. Inhaling deeply in hopes to calm himself, Palladium knew he wasn't so pure when it came to his thoughts.
Turning away from Flora to reach for some tissues on his desk, he muttered in an almost inaudible tone, "If only you knew . . ."
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Post by Demeter on Nov 17, 2005 21:54:32 GMT -5
Flora's hand had been reaching for one of the tissues at the same time he had been so once again almost unwanted contact happened between the pair. Flora drew her hand back quickly, before he had a chance to realize they had brushed each other.
"He's my professor," she whispered in a quiet, barely audible whisper to herself. "I should not be in love with my professor. I should not have a crush on my professor..." Okay, tomorrow, she'd go and see if there was another school that would take her...
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Post by Palladium on Nov 17, 2005 22:14:13 GMT -5
Turning back to face Flora, Palladium handed her a few tissues. This brief occupation of his actions had provided Palladium some distraction from thinking about what he would say next; however, when the moment passed and his hands were again free, he felt the atmosphere grow more stifling and awkward. Even worse, he couldn't think of one thing to say.
Clearing his throat, a sound that seemed uncommonly loud, Palladium leaned back against his desk and looked down at his entwined fingers. "So, I suppose we might as well admit that we have a few things we need to say to one another - do you want to go first, or shall I?
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Post by Demeter on Nov 18, 2005 7:28:38 GMT -5
"You first," Flora said in a meek whisper, her gaze focused on the tissues in her hands. She needed to pull her thoughts together before she could actually say what she was thinking. She only hoped she could say what she wanted to say without blushing or stammering too bad. Besides, how did one say they were in love with their professor?
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Post by Palladium on Nov 18, 2005 19:27:16 GMT -5
Expelling the breath he had been unconsciously holding in, Palladium nodded slowly, shifting his gaze up to the ceiling, "I had a feeling you would say that."
Closing his eyes in hopes of regaining control over his rapidly increasing heart rate, Palladium slowly, and cautiously began, "Flora, by this point I think you know that I feel . . . well, that I feel you're a special student - a very special student. I care about you as I care about all my other students . . . however, I feel that with you . . . with you, it's different . . ." Palladium trailed off.
In the silence of the still room, Palladium's head slowly began to clear and with it, reality as well as the gravity of the situation set in.
Inwardly cursing at his stupidity, Palladium moved away from Flora and went to stand by the window. Impassively, he continued, "I'm sorry: I can't do this."
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Post by Demeter on Nov 18, 2005 19:35:08 GMT -5
"Well, it's kind of hard to - to... Oh dear," she stammered, her cheeks were by now back to the rich crimson. "It's hard to admit that," she gave a tiny gulp. "You have more then a healthy respect for your professor and you think you might be actually inlovewithhim," the last bit came in a quick blur.
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Post by Palladium on Nov 18, 2005 19:53:43 GMT -5
Disbelief. That was Palladium's first reaction when he heard Flora's words. In fact, he was convinced that he had misheard her. But then his mind began to repeat the sounds that had come out of her mouth, and lo and behold, she had actually said what he thought he had heard.
Palladium's second reaction was constituted by the feeling of incredible warmth spreading throughout his body: happiness.
Palladium did have a third reaction. In a split second he had reached the conclusion that conscientious behavior had never gotten him what he wanted and so, for once he decided to be impulsive. Crossing the room again to return to his former place by his desk, Palladium, only hesitating for a moment, reached for Flora's hand and lightly grazed it with his own.
And then in apprehension he waited.
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